Just cropdusted the office
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize