I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
