Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
