i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
