i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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