FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
