I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
