It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
