woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
