Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
