So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
