She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Randomize
