I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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