So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
