Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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