They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
