And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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