Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
