Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Who died my cat blue again?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
