I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
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