brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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