She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
