smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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