y did u give ur computer a hand job?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
