I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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