i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
