i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
