my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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