nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
