I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
