The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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