you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
