Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls

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(954): View more from Florida

Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.

(440): View more from Ohio

Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.

(304): View more from West Virginia

She seemed pretty into it.

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(845): View more from New York

just woke up under a car ? That's odd

(603): View more from New Hampshire

Holy fucking shit

(845): View more from New York

WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT

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(315): View more from New York

There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster

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(630): View more from Illinois

The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.

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(516): View more from New York

I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.

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