He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
A+ Viking dick
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