So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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