i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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