yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
