Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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