so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
