I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You did what with his pubic hair?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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