shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
