i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize
