At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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