The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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