i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
