So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
