I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Randomize
