no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
