there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
