my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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