glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize